peace, love, and having a mind of your own

i refuse to look at life through the lens of tradition.
i refuse to believe everything i am told.
i refuse to live a life that doesn't promote peace, love, and having a mind of your own.

11 May 2011

there's gonna be a showdown.

On Easter Sunday, you just don't expect to have a gun pointed at you. Right? You expect pastel dresses and chocolate bunnies. And perhaps a sermon about the resurrected King, if you're the church-going sort. [Side-note. I usually avoid church on Easter, as well as the entire month of December. Something about the all the decoration and festivity just really takes away from the sincerity of the Jesus that I imagine...]

Anyway, back to my Easter/gun story. So I'm polishing off a typical 4-hour coffee date with my good friend Kailee, at our usual rendezvous: the Starbucks near my house. It's about 10:30pm and the employees are dragging the patio tables in and closing up shop. This is the time Kailee and I go outside and have cigarettes before parting ways.

So we're standing by her car, smoking and talking and loitering, when this 20-something gangster looking kid with a hood over his head comes around the corner of the parking lot and starts walking directly towards us. Since there's nothing in our direction except us, we both decide it would be a good idea to get in the car. Apparently he was walking really fast, because by the time Kailee got her car unlocked, Baby Gangster was a foot away from me, with his Glock pointed at my stomach, saying,

"Gimme your bag, bitch, before I shoot you."

Now I should note that he sounded exactly the way I would imagine someone saying it in a dumb movie. Like he was trying to make his voice extra scary. Naturally, this made me think he was joking. Because who would do that in real life? So the thoughts running through my head in the half a second between him demanding my bag, and me responding were as follows:

That's a really nice looking gun. Is that real? How old is this kid? Is he serious right now?I feel like I'm being punked. Like, any second he's gonna start laughing and give me a hug, and be like "Remember me, from high school?"

So of course I turn to him and say, "Is this a joke?"

He informs me [still in his scary-deep voice] that no, this is in fact very serious, and he will shoot me if I don't hand over my beloved vintage carpet-bag immediately.


I've always wondered what I would do in this situation. I always imagined I would do something he wasn't expecting. Like turn slowly to look him dead in the eye and ask in a serious tone, "Is it really worth it, man?" [Because, has there ever been anything in a woman's purse that was worth more than, potentially, her life? I think not.]

Or stand my ground and confidently announce that I'm not afraid of him or his gun, because I fear only God.

I mean, I do, right? It's silly to be afraid of this guy. No matter the scenario, all I do is win. Let's say God protects me and I walk away unharmed... I'll be glad I didn't waste my time worrying. But what if I get shot and don't die? I'll have a badass story to tell and probably become a stronger person because of it. Worst-case-scenario, I get killed. Big deal. Everybody dies.

So clearly, I've got this all figured out. I'm brave. I'll just trust God and refuse to be intimidated or give into fear. Mm-hmm.

It's a lot easier to think like this when you're not looking past the barrel of a gun to a kid thinking he's The Man With The Master Plan. Sure, when everything's normal, I can say I don't fear death or any man, but when that statement is tested...?


I close my eyes. I'm too scared to look him in the face. I throw my bag on the ground in front of him, somehow get into the car, and hold my breath as he leans over me to take Kailee's purse and cell phone, then orders us to drive away before he shoots us.

The rest of the story is pretty basic: went home, called the cops, couldn't stop nervous-giggling because that's what I do in situations where most people would cry, and eventually went to bed scared shitless that this creep with my house key and driver's license in his possession was going to come and kill me in my sleep.

So that's the story of the Easter Showdown: Fear of God versus Fear of Man. This time, Man takes it. But I'm glad it happened that way... nothing is ever perfect the first time I do it.


  1. hi, keturah-
    wow! what a scary thing to have happen! i don't think anyone knows for sure how they will react in a situation like that. i mean, we fantasize what we would do, but when it really happens, well...
    the main thing is that both you and your friend were unharmed! couple of verses come to mind: "For He shall give His angels charge over thee to keep thee in all thy ways"(Psalm 91:11), and, speaking of angels, angels are given to watch over believers 'till it's time for them to go Home! "Are they not all ministering spirits, sent forth to minister for those who shall be heirs of salvation?"(Hebrews 1:14). is your friend a believer? might be an opportunity to give a word of witness. God sets up some weird witnessing opportunities sometimes! thanks for sharing!

  2. "No matter the scenario, all I do is win"
    clearly, i love the quote!

    i still cant believe that happened to you- thank you for letting us into your mind. i'm pretty sure i would have peed on myself

  3. @Liz- thought you would like that quote! and i'm surprised i didn't pee on myself too.

    @Jeff- i know! stuff like that doesn't happen as much in Nashville :)